Yesterday ..

Yesterday. Was not a good day.

It didn’t start off too bad. Just an ordinary morning. But then I went to visit my mom. And that’s when my day turned bad.
She weighs what … 45 kg now? (99 pounds). She can’t eat, so she gets everything intravenously. She has a lot of pain …
Then she tells me the doctors wants to have a meeting. With her, and us three daughters. An informational meeting. That can’t be good news …
When I got out of the hospital, on my way home, and most of the evening, I cried. For the first time in months I wasn’t able to stop myself.

I know that this, on it’s own, doesn’t belong in this blog.

But here’s the thing …
For the first time. For the first time EVER. I felt the need to play even though my feelings were a mess. I pinched my arm, to make the physical pain drive away the emotional. The only thing I could think about was calling my old Master, and ask him if he had the time and opportunity to spend a few hours with me.

However. I had medication for my daughter with me in my handbag. And family always go first. So I picked myself up as best I could and went home.

All through the evening though. I thought about playing.

I wrote about this in the post called “Reluctance”. Maybe my “fear” of play is diminishing? Maybe I’ll be able to play again soon? I feel the urge to do so grow stronger each day. And if I can use play as a way to cope better with all that’s going on in my life, then it certainly must be a good thing

The meeting is tomorrow. I fear it may be another bad day ...

Spring and womanly luxury

Have you noticed that spring is in the air? Here in Norway the days are getting longer, and the sun has started melting the snow. Some places you can even see the grass peeking through the snow and in an many gardens the first spring flowers are preparing to push through the cold soil to enjoy the warmth of the sun.

Yes, I know spring isn’t really here yet. But some days, when the sun is warm, and the snow is melting it FEELS like spring.

This time of year I enjoy taking long walks. Noticing the change from day to day. It’s amazing how quickly spring chases winter away when it firsts starts! One day my garden will be quiet, with only the sound of the wind through the branches of my huge tree. The next day I’ll hear birds singing, and the first butterfly is stretching it’s wings.

Just as certain as spring is coming now that it’s March, so is International Womens Day. On this day both women and men all over the world will be marching the streets. Demanding attention for womens rights all over the world. Ofcourse, the fight for womens right is ongoing every day of the year. With brave and strong women who are doing important work.
During the years many things have been accomplished, so there is cause for celebration aswell.

And what better day to celebrate that you are a woman? Why not pamper yourself a little?
Take the dog for a nice long walk if the weather is nice. Feel the smell of spring and enjoy life.
Don’t do housework, buy takeout and enjoy a good chickflick.

Pampering yourself can also mean buying yourself a little gift. As always, I turn to Eden Fantasys when I’m looking for something special.