Saturday, September 10, 2011


As a woman, with a profile on a couple of BDSM-sites, I get the occasional message from unknown men. Unless they’re rude I try to answer. Sadly, too many messages seem to follow “The Secret Guide to Messaging Submissive Sluts”. Want a tip? It doesn’t work!

You’ll be amazed at how much alike some of those conversations turn out to be. Why can’t you just be yourself FIRST, and then let your inner D’type out if we manage to have a decent conversation?

Calling me little one, slut etc. does NOT have a good effect on me. You may have seen friends call me little one in my statuses of FetLife. Thing is, they’re my FRIENDS. So they’ve managed to get inside of the comfort zone where it’s safe to call me that.
Slut? Don’t even go there … My Dom gets to call me that. Noone else.

Giving me orders is a good way to piss me off. Sometimes I’ll answer, letting you know that you’re not in a position where I’ll let you do that. Most times I’ll just hit delete and forget about you.

Being mysterious .. That just makes me wanna bang my head in the desk. What makes you think you’re so interesting that I’ll start digging away when it’s rather obvious that you don’t want to share?

Here’s MY “Secret Guide to Messaging Submissive WOMEN”
  1. Face it, you don’t know her. It’s way to early to be familiar in pm no.1, 2, 3 etc
  2. Remember she’s a person first, and a submissive second, third or even last for that matter
  3. Remember that YOU’RE a person first, and a Dominant second, third or even last for that matter
  4. Do not try to order her around until you’re really sure that she’ll accept it. With most women that means, NOT in the first 10 messages. Atleast.
  5. Be yourself. Ok, so telling her that you’re gonna walk the dog, go to the store or clean the house is neither sexy nor mysterious. But it’s your life.
    Don’t overshare either, that’s just awkward. Try to find a middle road. You probably manage that in your every day life. It’s no different “in here”

    So, main tips:

Think … Be polite … Be patient … Be yourself

1 comment:

  1. I get those too... most often they hit the rubbish heap :/